Cat Slang: Beds and Cats

Blanket statement, Blown cover, Space saver -- Hear cats describe our beds and how they take them over.

Blanket statement, Blown cover, Space saver -- Hear cats describe our beds and how they take them over.

cats-talk-about-beds
Cats want to be where we are, and sometimes that’s in bed. Many of us co-sleep with our kitties, which can be a comforting and sometimes annoying experience. This week, my feline informant brought me some bed-related cat lingo. He almost didn’t make it to our weekly meeting because he was certain a group of undercover cats was following him, aware of his unsanctioned sharing of their top secret Fanglish terms. I certainly don’t want to get him into any trouble, but of course I’m eager to exchange a bag of cat treats for any kind of peek inside the mysterious lives of cats. And of course I want to share these gems with you!

So here’s this week’s special selection of cat slang. Enjoy, and make sure your cat’s not reading over your shoulder. Seriously.

Blanket statement

A cat’s refusal to move when a human is making a bed.

Nibbles saw The Lady changing the sheets and decided it was time for him to make a blanket statement.

Blown cover

Discovery of a cat who thought he was concealed by a blanket, sheet, or bed skirt.

Mickey thought he was completely hiding under the bed, but his visible tail created a blown cover.

Trapper Keeper
Cats sleeping in positions that block a human’s ability to move positions while sleeping.

Mittens stretched across The Man’s legs, and Kiki curled up against his chest, creating a trapper keeper situation.

Full of sheet
A cat who is sleeping under a bed sheet.

Snowball was tired of trying to play with Maurice, who was completely full of sheet.

Breathtaking

The labored breathing that occurs when a large cat sleeps on top of a human’s chest.

Tiger curled up on The Lady’s chest, and when she awoke, her experience was breathtaking.

Roaming charges
A cat’s removal from a bed because his walking about prevents a human from falling asleep.

After the third time Toasty walked across The Man’s abdomen, the cat was issued roaming charges.

Space saver
A cat who moves onto a human’s spot on the bed when she get up to use the restroom.

The Lady returned to bed to find Fiona had become a space saver.

Undercover boss
A cat who sleeps under the covers with a human and chooses how much bed space the human will be allowed to occupy.

The Man placed Dixie in her cat bed because she was an undercover boss, and continually pushed him to the edge of the bed.

Pillow fight
The battle between a human and cat that determines who gets to own the most room on a bed pillow.

The Man had a headache in the morning because of the all-night pillow fight with Mr. Boots.

Hairy plotter

A cat who plans to sleep on top of a human’s clothing that is laid nicely on top of a bed.

As the Lady climbed into the shower, Lucy saw the dress on the bed, and was an instant hairy plotter.

So there you have it! See you next week with a brand new list of Fanglish!

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