Cat Slang: Cats and Bugs

"Swat team," "Cricket bat" and "Web browser" all mean something entirely different to your cat than they do to you.

"Swat team," "Cricket bat" and "Web browser" all mean something entirely different to your cat than they do to you.

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Cats are fascinated with insects. They’ll meditatively stare at still bugs for several minutes – in fact, I’ve witnessed my Cosmo zeroed in on a solitary moth for a good half hour or more. And if the bug moves, even better! Now there’s prey to hunt! Insects are one obsession shared by both indoor and outdoor cats, so my feline informant decided it would be a perfect topic for this week’s Fanglish cat-slang lesson.

I, of course, thanked him for sneaking away to deliver these top-secret terms that cats share only among themselves. He’ll do just about anything for a bag of chicken treats – even betray his own. Total treat junkie, he is. In any case, he brought us a fine selection of cat slang, all of it related to the special relationship between cats and insects.

Sorry to “bug” you, but I need you to focus here, and not allow your cats to see your computer screen. They’d be none-too-happy if they discovered your newfound knowledge.

Are you ready? Here are this week’s Fanglish terms:

Web browser
A cat who examines a web, looking for a spider.

Moose, an expert web browser, was pleased to happen upon a new collection of spider webs in the basement.

Bug eyes
A cat’s narrowed eyes when stalking a bug.

Maurice had major bug eyes as the ant crossed the kitchen floor.

Moth-er’s Day
A celebratory day in which a cat catches multiples moths.

Patches invited Snowball and Maxine over to share in the spoils of Moth-er’s Day.

Lord of the flies
A cat who’s trapped a fly between the sliding glass door and screen.

Maurice became lord of the flies when a wayward fly thought he could escape through the screen door.

Expired food
A dead insect.

Oreo hunted insects all day, but only found expired food.

Ante up
A cat’s decision to take charge of a group of ants.

At least 20 new ants crawled across the dining room floor, and Theo knew it was time to ante up.

Beetlemania
A cat’s excitement when happening upon a beetle.

When Callie showed Felix the beetle in the laundry room, he was overcome with beetlemania.

Swat team
Several cats who are hunting the same insect.

Marshmallow wanted to paw at the moth alone, but the swat team soon joined her.

Cricket bat
A cat’s swat at a cricket.

French Fry watched the bug for several minutes, and then decided it was time for a cricket bat.

Window-shopping
A cat watching an insect on the opposite side of a glass window.

There were no bugs inside, so Gumby took to window-shopping at the patio door.

So there you have it – 10 new terms for you to consider in the coming week. You’ll never be able to watch your cat interact with insects the same way again. Nope. Now you know too much – you’re in the inner circle. Just remember to close your browser when you’re finished reading this. Your cats are definitely watching

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