Cat Slang: Irritated Cats

Hear what cats talk about when they talk about annoying people habits.

Hear what cats talk about when they talk about annoying people habits.

It’s no secret that cats are easily irritated, but you know what is a secret? The cat slang terms we share with you every week. Cats enjoy thinking they’re the superior species (which no one is really disputing), and having an underground language that’s unknown to humans is part of their awesomeness. Here’s the thing: There’s this one cat who comes to me each week and divulges a selection of Fanglish terms in exchange for chicken-flavored treats. He’d be in huge trouble with his feline brothers and sisters if they discovered his breach, but his love of treats is somehow worth the risk. This week my informant shared terms on the subject of irritation – cat irritation, that is. In fact, he became a little cranky with me during our exchange. A few extra treats solved that.

So are you ready for this week’s Fanglish? Of course you are. Just do me a favor and keep this between us. Here are the latest and greatest cat-slang terms, all about feline irritation!

Blind rage
Frustration caused by not being able to move behind blinds in order to sit in a window.

The Lady forgot to raise the blinds before she went to work, leaving Leo with a morning of blind rage.

Lazy boy
A male human who won’t get out of bed when a cat is ready to eat breakfast.

Patches didn’t care it was a Saturday, the lazy boy wasn’t allowed to sleep past the 6:00 AM feeding time.

Catapult
Bullying a cat out of a desirable spot.

Precious wanted to curl up in The Lady’s lap, so she quickly catapulted Peaches.

Bite-and-switch
A cat’s indecision between wanting a human to pet him and the overwhelming urge to bite the human’s hand.

The Lady wanted to cuddle with Rex, but his bite-and-switch made her say a bad word.

Dazed and can-fused

The excitement of hearing a can opener, followed by the intense disappointment of realizing a human has opened a can of food for herself.

Max stood there, dazed and can-fused, as The Lady opened a can of niblet corn.

Vetty Davis
A dramatic cat who doesn’t want to cooperate at a veterinary appointment.

Muffin, a known Vetty Davis, refused to come out of the carrier at her annual visit.

Laundry hamper

Removing a cat who’s resting on top of a pile of laundry.

The Man was a total laundry hamper when Marshmallow was trying to score an afternoon nap on top of the freshly dried towels.

Delayed flight
A jump to the ground after being help for longer than desired.

The Lady wanted to snuggle with Boots, which resulted in the cat’s delayed flight.

Catwalk
Pacing while a human prepares a cat’s meal.

Oreo’s catwalk was longer than usual because The Man had to retrieve cans of food from the basement pantry.

Ear-itation
Annoyance expressed by flattening the ears.

The Lady removed Maurice from the counter and he responded with clear ear-itation.

I hope you enjoyed this week’s sleepy Fanglish post. Please join us again next week for a new list of terms. And remember … shhh!

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