Fanglish: Cat Randomness

Cats about the house commonly display "Stareway to heaven," "Kneadlepoint" and "Loo grant," among other cat behavior.

Cats about the house commonly display "Stareway to heaven," "Kneadlepoint" and "Loo grant," among other cat behavior.


Those of you who regularly read the weekly cat slang posts know we usually feature a theme. This week, we’re going wild and throwing a bunch of random Fanglish your way. Themes – who needs ‘em? You see, the feline informant who shares these top-secret terms with me is feeling a little wacky this week. It’s OK to feel wacky now and again … and again and again.

Even though we’re not focusing on a theme this week, the rules remain the same: These cat slang terms stay between you and me and the litter box. Our kitties feel the need to keep a few things to themselves, but we can still be nosy humans. I love having a peephole into my cats’ lives, including their underground kitty code.

So here are 10 random cat slang words for you. Please enjoy.

Diss-interested
A cat’s refusal to make eye contact when being called by a human, thereby “dissing” the human.

Snowball was diss-interested when The Lady was trying to make him look at the camera.

Flee and trick control
A human’s ability to trick a fleeing cat by calling him for mealtime or treats.

The Lady used flee and trick control to lure Snickerdoodle into the kitchen for his medication.

Kneadlepoint

The exact center of a human’s full bladder that, when kneaded, creates a look of pain on a human’s face.

Mr. Fancy Boots knew he’d hit The Lady’s kneadlepoint when she said a bad word and ran to the bathroom.

Leadoff hitter

The cat who makes the first swat in a cat fight.

In all the pre-dinner romps, Maurice was the leadoff hitter.

Stareway to heaven
A cat’s constant staring at a human until the she provides food or treats.

It was almost time for dinner so Flufferpants began his stareway to heaven.

Once bitten, twice cry
How a cat feels when, after eating a bite or two of food, cries to have his bowl filled again because it’s “empty.”

Lord Applesauce was once bitten, twice cry, but The Lady was having none of it and told him to finish his food.

Loo grant
A human’s daily privilege of a cat watching her use the facilities.

The Lady received an additional loo grant this when Patchy McGee joined Moonbeam in the bathroom during her morning visit.

The glass menagerie
A group of cats trying to drink out of a human’s water glass.

The Lady walked into the kitchen and suddenly had a front row seat to a performance of The Glass Menagerie.

Lay misérables
A cat’s cranky disposition after being picked up and moved to lie in a different location.

Stinky was completely Lay Misérables when The Lady relocated him to the sofa.

Ear might
The cocking of a sleeping cat’s ear as she hears a human address her and considers if she might wake up or if she might not.

Ferdinand showed an ear might when The Lady called her from the other room.

So there you go, friends – another heaping spoonful of cat slang. We’ll see you next week, so bring your appetite!

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