#TheInternetNamesAnimals Sparks Hilariously Creative New Names For Animals

The new names might also be way more accurate.

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Completely accurate (for some snakes). Via Sad & Useless Humor/Twitter
Completely accurate (for some snakes). Via Sad & Useless Humor/Twitter
Cari Jorgensen

If you show a young child a picture of an animal they’ve never seen before and ask them what it is, chances are they’re going to describe what they’re seeing. An elephant becomes that thing with a long nose and a tiger is a big, striped cat.

The Internet has taken that childlike notion a step further (or in some cases many, many steps further) and renamed animals with more, let’s say descriptive, names, which have been posted on social media with the hashtag #TheInternetNamesAnimals for our viewing pleasure. And yes, they are hilarious. Here are some of our favorites.

1. Wizard Cow

He offers enlightenment on the mountaintop.

2. The Fuzzy-Bummed McClown Face

He’s the colorful one.

3. Forest-Dwelling Murderhorse

He could kill you if he so desired. We’re guessing being trampled by an actual horse wouldn’t be much fun either.

4. Bent-Neck Desert Donkey

He’s also excellent at saving water.

5. Pre-Bacon

Well, that’s just wrong. And so, so right.

6. Arctic Hat Stand

Because where else are you going to put your hat in the winter?

7. Stabby-Butted Pollen Pusher

That name stings.

8. Sadeyes Von Gimmefood

We’re very familiar with this one.

9. The Majestic Sea Flap Flap

Seen only by a privileged few.

10. African Long-Necked Trample Pony

Their long necks allow them to see what to trample next.

11. Salty Jelly Rock

No other way to describe that one.

12. Fuzzy Meowtain

Reserved for the plump kitties who like to sit up.

13. Inflatable Swim Cactus

You may not want to be holding on to this while swimming.

We’re not sure why this hashtag is trending, but we’re glad it is.

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